Beginning Again
I love this time of year. I find each season change invigorating, refreshing - a shift in what we eat, wear, and do. But I especially love the fall. As a semi-professional “Nester” I relish in the cleaning, organizing, and redecorating this time of year brings out in me, cooking warm and nourishing foods, the slowing down before the stillness of winter. The changing seasons, cool air and growing darkness invite us to turn inward- an opportunity to reflect on past seasons, and figure out how we want to move forward. We clean out our closets or refrigerators, set up new schedules and routine as the kids go off to school, and maybe commit to new habits to ground ourselves after the glowing chaos of summer.
For my family, this summer felt like the first season we attempted to return to “normal” life after becoming parents just days before a global pandemic upended life as we knew it. I’ve been known to tell people my life turned upside down when my daughter was born, and then six weeks later Covid hit and the entire world turned upside down. After years of not going further than a car’s ride away, we spent this summer traveling with family, visiting with friends we hadn’t seen in years, and trying to remember what it’s like to have experiences in the world. As you may (or may not) have experienced, the world is…weird. It just isn’t the same as it was. There is a blanket of something I can only succinctly describe as heaviness - a weighted blanket, if you will - over everyone, everywhere. Maybe not literally every person, but enough people that it feels like it is everywhere. No one hasn’t been touched by the trauma and tragedy and resulting anxiety of the past few years (and who knows how long before that). Some are still very much in it. The world is not an easy place to be right now. Everything feels harder, even the things that were easy once.
On top of the natural introspection this time of year brings, I find a lot of meaning in the Jewish High Holidays- four holidays over a four-ish week period in which we celebrate the New Year (Rosh Hashanah), undergo a period of self-reflection and day of atonement (Yom Kippur), and celebrate the work we have put into ourselves over the past few weeks (Sukkot). This year I read something that really stuck with me: every year during the High Holidays we blow the shofar, a ram’s horn. It’s surprisingly difficult to blow the shofar; you take the deepest breath you can muster, and then blow into the instrument as hard as you can to hear the horn blast. Like the breath in, we turn inwards and look at ourselves. We work on ourselves, repair our wounds, so that we can go forward and be heard, make a difference. When we bring our best selves into the world, we can bring out the best in the world.
I’ve spent a good part of my life, and certainly the years since I’ve been out of the full-time/office work grind, wondering what my purpose is, how I will make an impact. I love that this season reminds us to first look within to see what areas need work. What struck me most this year is the message that if you figure out what is best for you, what fills you up and makes you feel like the best version of yourself, it will come through and lift up everyone around you. And not just in your professional life, but in every part of your life. If you can figure out what food, clothes, furniture, friends, partners, movement, music/tv/podcasts, recreational activities make you feel best, it will affect every part of your life.
Four things getting me through this week:
A bath- I could write a whole post/novel about how magical a bath can be. I probably will. Suffice it to say, it is my go-to for my mind and body. I spent more than 30 years thinking I didn’t like baths (something along the lines of soaking in your own filth) until I suffered my first miscarriage in the middle of winter and out of sheer desperation I started taking baths. Now I take one basically every night. You may have heard a common trope that water cures all issues for kids but it’s true for adults too. Try it, trust me. Make sure it’s warm enough to sweat a little but not too hot as to be uncomfortable or intolerable.
Add epsom salt to your bath for full detox effect. I like Dr. Teals which can be found at Target/CVS etc. but for a special bath I’ll use a CBD soak like this one from Equilibria. If you’re local to Ann Arbor I also love White Lotus bath bombs.
My favorite candle to light in the bath is this one. I don’t usually like to recommend scented things because it’s so personal but everyone loves this one. My second favorite is anything Palo Santo-scented, I’m currently burning one from Brooklyn Candle Co.
Listen to a podcast or music while you read. Try Super Soul-Elizabeth Gilbert: The Curiosity-Driven Life